With the houselights down, a man in a chair appears on stage and puts on his favorite record: the cast recording of a fictitious musical. The recording comes to life and The Drowsy Chaperone begins as the man in the chair looks on. Mix in two lovers on the eve of their wedding, a bumbling best man, a desperate theatre producer, a not-so-bright hostess, two gangsters posing as pastry chefs, a misguided Don Juan and an intoxicated chaperone, and you have the ingredients for an evening of madcap delight. Hailed by New York Magazine as "The Perfect Broadway Musical," The Drowsy Chaperone is a masterful meta-musical, poking fun at all the tropes that characterize the musical theatre genre.

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A voice from the stage addresses the waiting audience. MAN I hate theatre. Well, it's so disappointing, isn't it? You know what I do when I'm sitting in a darkened theatre waiting for the curtain to rise?

I pray. Dear God, please let it be a good show. And let it be short, oh Lord in heaven, please. Two hours is fine, three hours is too much. And keep the actors out of the audience. I didn't pay a hundred dollars to have the fourth wall come crashing down around ny ears. I just want a story, and a few good songs that will take me away, I just want to be entertained. I mean, isn't that the point? Now it's, "Please, Elton John, must we continue this charade? And you thought to yourself, "My God when are they going to bring up the lights?

How are we today? A little quiet? I'm feeling a little blue myself. You know, a little anxious for no particular reason, a little sad that I should feel anxious at this age, you know, a little self- conscious anxiety resulting in non-specific sadness: a state that I call "blue". Anyway, whenever I'm feeling this way, blue, I like to listen to my music.

Let's have a treat! Let's disappear for a while into the decedent world of the 's. When the champagne flowed while the caviar chilled and all the world was a party" - for the wealthy anyway.

Music by Julie Gable, lyrics by Sidney Stein. It's the full show with the original cast including Beatrice Stockwell as the Chaperone. Isn't she elegant? This is a full 15 years before she became Dame Beatrice Stockwell. Can you believe it? Would you Let me play the record for you.

I was hoping you would say that. He puts the record on the record player. He places the needle. I love that sound. The overture begins. Imagine if you will, it's November You've just arrived at the doors of the Morosco Theatre in New York. It doesn't exist anymore, It was torn down in , and replaced with an enormous hotel.

Anyway, you came by horse. I mean, a horse drawn carriage. Anyway, it's very cold and a heavy grey sleet is falling from the sky but you don't care because you're going to see a Broadway show! He settles back and listens for a moment Isn't this wonderful? He listens A kettle on the stove begins to whistle. MAN runs over to the stove and dances while he makes himself a cup of tea.

Overtures are out of style now. I miss them. It's a polite way of beginning the evening. It's the show's way of welcoming you. The meal will be served shortly, but in the meantime, would you like an appetizer? A Pu-pu platter of tunes, if you will. Something new! What could it be? Sounds like a dance number. Kind of rollicking. Maybe involving pirates! Don't worry. There are no pirates. He runs back to his chair as the music segues from a mono recording to a live orchestra.

This is it. The moment when the music starts to build and you know you're only seconds away from being transported. The overture builds to it's conclusion. I can't wait! Tottendale enter. It never goes out of style. Of course! Oh, I love a wedding. I shall go put on my fancy dress. Oh, I do love this dress so, It never goes out of style. When will the guests be arriving? Now, don't worry. I have this whole wedding planned out. The key is organization. Pay the musicians, yell at the florist, book the Minister.

This whole wedding's gong to run like clockwork. JANET enters. We have a bride who's giving up the stage for love, her debonair bridegroom, a harried producer, jovial gangsters posing as pastry chefs, a flaky chorine, a Latin lothario, and an aviatrix; what we now call a lesbian.

And, of course, my favorite character, the Drowsy Chaperone. He turns up the volume. Alright, I'll lead you through this record as best I can. It won't be hard to follow, all the characters are all two dimensional and the plot is well worn.

So, we begin with a welcome from the love struck groom. I tell you I must be some lucky fellow. Why, who would have thought that I, Robert Martin, would be marrying a glamorous shovgirl, and that that glamorous showgirl would be giving up successful career for me, Robert Martin. ALL gasp!


The Drowsy Chaperone Script

Page 1. Man in Chair Mrs. Page 2. Musical Numbers. Opening Scene.


The Drowsy Chaperone

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